Song to my parents (on the melody of the Loch Tay Boat Song)

I've always known myself to be, a child of love and ecstasy,
and yet still I cannot see, why you had to love each other,
for I'm loathed and despised, I see hatred in most eyes,
and the kin I have are biased, against my father and my mother.
So why did you not refrain, from the love between you twain?
For what good was there to gain, but a lasting honor stain?
This I wonder every day, my pain will never go away,
and I wonder when I'll say, that I loved you anyway.

And I'm very angry too, for this body's faults came through
all you could not stop to do, for it gave you only pleasure.
Then by death you had to leave, left me all my life to grieve,
and now all that I believe, is that hatred is each measure.
So what force makes love so strong, that it cuts through right and wrong,
and did not leave me among, the only thing for which I long?
For my people do not see, that there's also good in me,
and I'll never find their key, thus alone I'll ever be.

Maira



Song to Gaugh..

As I feel the love you give to me, know your heart is as strong as fire,
I can only gladness see, and finally I have my deep desire.

For my family have I lost, and I know that was your fate too,
and we both have felt the cost, for we never could just start anew.

Both alone for a time so long, that we almost forgot about,
joy and warmth and love so strong, that it makes the heart and soul sing out.

You reach out to those lonely hearts, I'm impressed with all that you give,
for you've given many starts, to the ones who again dared to live..

Reaching out is still hard to me, and still I'm not yet used to that,
but I promise you will see, my trust to reach out for this sharing yet.



Song to the sept of the stormy eye

As I am welcomed within your circle, my heart feels hope shine, yet also fear,
and trust for me is so hard to learn since I've never felt others come so near.

I see your strength and also your weakness, I see success, but the failure too,
and I don't know what gifts I can offer, because I know that my strengths are few.

All I can give to the fight is music, all I can give to the sept is doubt,
All I can know of our lives is hatred, all I can see wrapped in misty cloud.

My songs are yours, that's if you will have them, my dreams are reaching far to your side,
My strength and will I've already given, against that dark force we all must fight.

And what you'll choose, I will stand beside you, for you have taught me I shouldn't hide.

Maira



Listen..

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision's misty veils.
The singer tells the stories, the stories of the past,
for when all is forgotten it's the stories that will last.
The story shows the truth that's hidden deep within our soul,
so if you listen well it will then make your knowing whole..

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision's misty veils.
The tales are all the answers to questions of before,
the thing is that we do not have the questions anymore.
So never undrestimate the power of a tale,
for wisdom in that form never will grow unfit or stale.

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision's misty veils.
A song shows truth and vision, a knowing deep and strong,
for you can find the live of life and feeling in a song.
So listen to the music that will lift soul and heart high,
and feel how a good song can make the spirits of all fly.

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision's misty veils.
And know the truth is hidden in lyrics or in words,
but if the song finds you with hate, or joy, or if it hurts,
then know that you have found the truth, and you will seek no more,
and you will know the truth of what I've said as none before..

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision's misty veils.

Maira


Love and hate

I join you at your table, in my hand a glass of beer,
you laugh and grin at me, your teeth are white, your smile a flash.
I saunter close, sit down, and lay aside my balladeer,
you speak to me, and ere I see, our words make a great clash.

You say you understand me, yet cannot see why I won't
tell you what others told me in the faith that I would keep
it to meself and will not prattle all these words, I don't
feel that you are not worthy but my ethics are too deep.

So why then do you harshly growl, your look both sharp and dark,
tell me it is your business, when I know these words should go
only to the one that they were meant for, yet you bark
at me and call me words that really hurt me as you know.

And so I lurch at you, and kick, would throttle if I could
and all my anger, all my hate, is centered in this fight.
And as I push to hurt you hard as I hadn't known I would
I cannot stop to wonder are you really on my side?

If we are friends as you had said, then why can you not stop
to push me and to anger me, unfold the darkest deep,
and might it not be wiser if all contact I would drop?
Because each time we meet more love and hate for you I keep.

And yet, though I have hurt you more in body then you see
to hurt me in my soul I am surprised when fighting ends
and laughter runs to clear the air that flows twixt you and me
I wonder are we enemies, impassionate, or friends?

Maira



Wild the Storm

Wild the Storm, and wild the wind is strong and darkly blowing
as in the land the power of the wyrm's steadily growing.
Against the darkness that it casts over the land I know one cure,
and that's the martial power of Garou which guard for sure.

Dark the wyrm, and dark the shadow that it casts into this ending
as it seems that there is nothing left to prevent the final blending
of men's power and men's disregard of our sweet Mother Earth,
but we, Garou, the Guardians will try to stop that hurt.

Fight! She calls out. Fight! My children, guard for us the future
clean the gangreen out of the wound, and bleed it through the suture,
clean out the evil which you trample, howl defiance in it's face!
Dance the dance of life and with that still your death embrace..

For She will help us, and her helpers, spirits strong and knowing,
Grandfather Thunder and his children keep the power growing.
Let us all be like the Storm! For we all are His wards,
let the force of our fight be spread throughout all parts.

Maira




Wyrm's child..

I saw her crying tears of blood, her flowing tears a dark, dark red,
I heard my heart sing with her strenght, sing with the courage that she had,
a child of Wyrm, yet this was true, to all our deep surprise,
a soul of truth, a soul of us, was shining through her eyes.

I saw her speak the truth to all, regardless of all that she feared
I knew her voice, for truth and strength it sang, which all who were there heared,
And hope sang in my heart as well, harmonious in song,
for I saw that the Wyrm would lose this one before too long.

But Wyrm has no love for its children if they work against it's will,
and she did speak clear against it and she was remorsing her choice still,
when the Shadow Dancers took her for she worked against the Wyrm
and she died because she stayed in her conviction strong and firm.

So now, her broken body lies there, trampled, wrapped in iron thread,
an empty shell from which all I could recognise as her has fled.
And Anger burns within me as her tears, a dark, dark red,
and how I wish that Wyrm had slain another's children dead..

Maira




To all who have hurt me..

Sharp glittering knives I would cast in your flesh, and then turn them around,
with a gentle smile rub salt in your wounds after that.
Laugh cruelly down upon you as you struggle, with metal thread bound,
and vengeance will be much more sweet then all things I have had.

It makes a dark song in my soul with these words as its whispering tune:
I Hate you! I Hate you! that's all I can think of and more.
And yet in this darkness my hate shines as silver as light of the moon,
as I feel it glitter and shimmer deep down to the core.

And why is She here, She the Moon, She the image of nightmares, Grey Dove,
And whence did that light come? That light that makes shadows so clear?
No light without shadow, no will without weakness, no pain without love,
and all who have hurt me, who still hurt me most, are so dear...

Maira


Meeting the Shadow

I am not sure just what to say, and yet I feel I should,
for if I don't, well in that way, lies such despair that could
just paralyze all that I am, if I wait to tell you,
what's hiding now behind the dam, which here in my heart grew.

The waters of my feelings churn, their wildness scares me so,
I feel I dare not ever learn to really get to know
the anger, grief, despair and rage that all in one big flow
might soon break through and set the stage for hate I've never known.

This shadowmonster in my mind I'm so afraid to face,
opposed to all in me that's kind, has hated all its days.
It hates and rages all through me, screams every night and day,
I wonder why I couldn't see what I have kept at bay.

And at the crossroads now I stand, for I cannot be sure
if I should make that beast my friend, and thus hope for a cure,
or keep it under lock and key, and never let it out,
I cannot in the future see what that would bring about.

But keeping it locked up so tight will not work any more,
and it is trying hard for flight, for a wide opened door,
so I fear I don't have much choice but to come face to face,
and listen to it's growling voice, and thus find newer ways.

Maira



Kitaran

So far away, I miss you so
Your voice so soft, your eyes aglow
You're the best friend I'll ever know
I miss you so, Kitaran.

I wonder why you sought the end
Was it too hard to bow and bend?
And why I cannot comprehend
could you not stand, Kitaran.

You fought so hard, to keep your own
And all your life, you'd been alone
You had in rage and anger grown
that much was shown, Kitaran.

But hope was with you all that way,
it danced around you every day
and helping things to you did say,
so you could stay, Kitaran

But then you lost that hope in grief
And lost of dawn and day belief
and thought all hope, and us, naive
and thus we grieve, Kitaran.

For you have left us, others, me
I only know that we must see
that hope could only have saved thee,
Now thou art free, Kitaran.

Maira



The love of oneself.

Long were the lessons I learned in my life,
heavy the hardships, and hollow the hope
surely deep sorrows and serious strife
caught me in cares and I could hardly cope.
But now I realise though reasons are rife,
that love of yourelf is the light of one's life.

I left kith and kin and felt lonely and lost,
and nothing I know now brings me anew
the cure for those cares, since my kin cast the cost
of their sorrows on my shoulders and their silence only grew.
And so I was cast out of hearth and of home,
and love of myself thus I never have known.

but high is the hardship of holding out love,
as a stone saps the strength of the soul holding out
the weight as will wanes to wring it aloft
with help there is hope but there's hardship without
another advance to allow extra strength
and love of yourself gives that aid then at length.

So now I have seen such sorrows seem small,
in love's life that'll lift and turn into light.
And all other aid I've accepted as well
to grow and to gain then a more gentle might.
So I will accept love and light in me'll grow
and love of myself is a new path I go.

Maira


The Hidden Shadows

 To the eye it seems so clear, fresh and bright your eyes do meet.
 yet the hidden atmosphere is so dark and foul beneath.
 As I walk these hidden paths where the dream of joy is sold,
 shadows that a deep grief casts make strange patterns, forms untold
 Thus I know I must take heed
 And I feel it rise, my fear
 That my nightmares I will meet .

 Next to me though stands a friend, one I've trusted all along,
 one who often gave a hand, so dependable and strong,
 though he shivers when he too feels the call of grief so deep,
 that runs heart and soul straight through, makes the halls and stairs so steep,
 and the walk seems endless long
 as by the door we hold and stand
 and I KNOW something is wrong.

 The door opens with a creak, and I see no light, nowhere,.
 but a rotting stench, a reek of blood and pain comes to my air,
 and I hear a rustling sound, a soft moan in darkness deep,
 while I rustles, places count, the room four people here must keep,
 another step gone down the stair
 and my eyes used to the bleak
 see the enemies out there.

 They hold prisoners so tight, trembling souls that only pant,,
 not a sound, but stench of fright, assaults my nose, I lift my hand,
 shuffling growls are heared of threat, if we do not now relent,
 they will die a horrid death, massacred where they now stand.
 Thus I stammer, and each hand
 is clenched in a fist real tight,
 but their death -I- would repent.

 Then I hear a sudden sound, and my friend has moved so fast
 that I stand, he does astound, friend and foe as he flicks past ,
 and Arianna moves with him, casts a glance to left and right,
 At her gestures fast and trim, the foes prepare themselves for fight,
 And I stand, surprised, aghast,
 as they wildly look around,
 then attack each other fast.

 Blood and hair flies all around, as they fight and rip and growl,
 and their actions all astound, as one dies with a great howl,
 and Mash jumps in to the last, and he angrily does kill
 what the other foe did last of his brother, fights untill
 only death's rictus of a scowl
 can be seen, their deathcries sound
 as Mash's frontpaws hack and maul.

 The prisoners are then grabbed tight, taken quickly far away,
 from that place without a light, without fresh air, where they did stay.
 Now they're safe, they live, they breathe, they know life and love again,
 but some hold fear, in anger seethe, or are filled with deep deep pain.
 so I wonder every day
 will their fears and griefs alight?
 or will the shadows ever stay..

 
 Turnabout

Growing up as metis is a hard and painful thing
daily get the scowls and sneers and feel of scorn the sting,
and any action will be wrong if you are large or small,
argus eyes are looking for a tiny sign of fall.
They know they are so marvelous, their word is our command
they can't do wrong, they know it all and just where you do stand.
Elders can be cruel and harsh, and judge you never light,
that is what time has whispered in my ear and in my sight.

Walking all alone is not an easy thing as well
but better then the nags, abuse and all the hatred fell,
Just wander at the edges there and never come too near,
a life governed by loneliness and sarcasm and fear.
No group seems open for your song, no friend is there to find,
if you are not willing to trust without a few words kind,
and Elders seldom give such words, but demand and press their right,
that is what time has whispered in my ear and in my sight.

I'd never tell my story to someone who is a part,
stands high within that structure, but this one, he showed a heart.
I did not even know at first his status or his name,
And yet he gave me courteousness and kindness all the same.
He trusted me with something hard and praised me for my mind,
And so I told my story to this one who was so kind.
Elders can be listeners and gentle with your pain,
untill they think that kindness gives no further goals to gain...

When he had heared the tale and saw that fear did run my life
that there was in my mind a battle, neverending strife,
to be accepted and to trust, but anger never goes,
the colder it is eaten the more deeply felt, he knows.
And so he sought to challenge me, but years of loneliness
had tried to burn the rage and hate that on my mind did press.
Elders know just where to sting, and how to start a fight,
that is what time has whispered in my ear and in my sight.

He called me names and challenged me, at first I did just sigh,
the memories of pressed down rage were to my mind too nigh,
But he just pushed and pushed untill I could no longer think,
and in the pit of anger and my rage and hate did sink,
attacked him wildly, hit at him, and he kept blocking me,
but never hit me back, more strange then that I'll never see.
Elders can give up their pride to teach a lesson right,
that is what time has whispered in my ear and in my sight.

He called me cub, and laughed at me, and I kept swinging wild,
untill I thought and pressed myself, no longer just a child,
I knew I had the power and I slashed right at his throat,
and stopped in horror when I saw he stepped upon Death's road.
Then spirits came to me and said this lesson was his gift,
bring focus to my anger, the despair and fear to lift.
Elders can have honor and deep wisdom sometimes too
when Garon healed returns my great respect will be his due.


The Caern lies empty

The Caern lies empty, it is bare
no people holds it's rounding wall
only the Warder is found there
when Jaedynn's footsteps in it fall.
She looks around but can find none
the Warder is alone and grieves
the bonds of Sept and Pack undone
they are all dead, that he believes.

The Caern holds three when suddenly
it is awakened by a sound
that would have made another flee
but Shadow Dancer holds her ground.
Laura finds one almost dead
a Master of the Rite he was,
half his body gone, he bled
to death upon that sacred grass.

The Caern fills up, one at a time
as Blight does grow in leaf and beast
deer eating meat, it is a crime,
a tainted bear wanting a feast.
Five it takes, to bring it down,
and Banes are moving all around,
rows and rows of red eyes frown
waiting till one chance is found.

The Caern holds weapon, armor, sword
as Spiral Dancer on the lake
who dumps the evil overboard
is stopped. But Blight is still awake.
Five then go out to find the source
Nikita, Damien and Jaed
Noriko brings a Fetish force
and found in danger one called Raith.

The Caern resounds with battle cries
as Raith is saved from evil dead.
But Tainting now over all lies,
it fills them with each panting breath.
"Unicorn please help us now!"
is then the cry of Dawning Hope.
And Unicorn shows up somehow,
Jaedynn's just strong enough to cope.

The Caern is filled and all are safe.
Totem, Fetish, and Jaedynn
shine dawning hope from Blighted grave
and give the land a new begin.
But be aware, for Taint still lies
sleeping in the Caern to wait.
Soon there will sound more battle cries
and that time will decide our fate.



I wander alone

I wander alone
by wood, tree and stone
I sleep on the ground
The birds' lovely sound

I sing and I play
The things that I say
My place here is clear
no pressure or fear.

So tell me, my friend,
for myself now to fend
why would I give up
Since I was a cub

I won't stay for what
I won't change my path
And not for tradition
Or elders' permission

I curse the traditions
        and status is hollow
don't care for positions
I will speak my mind
often don't like the kind

I've learned to expect
but give me some respect,
And offer a hand
and maybe we'll stand


Meeting Unicorn

On a search for Grace we were,
Nikita, Damien and I,
moved through the Veil that parted there,
green the land that met the eye.
In search of Unicorn we went,
to see if She her help would lend.

Damien is strong and sure,
knows exactly what he wants.
Thinks he is to all woe cure,
but gentleness too's in his hands.
Unicorn will lend him sight
to see there's more beyond his might.

Nikita struggles with the past,
the Weaver took her friends away.
Sure that any peace won't last,
her nightmares plague her night and day.
Unicorn may give her hope,
and the strength and will to cope.

And I, I hate, mistrust and fear
my own people, as I'm sure
the past will just repeat more here.
And for that I need a cure
Unicorn, may your courage give
me what I need to really live.

So we went and found Her there,
Golden maned, Her eyes so kind.
And She asked us, as we stared,
what had brought us Her side.
Unicorn asked challenging,
what us to Her side did bring.

Did we wish to use Her might
for healing to hide our own dark soul?
Or to aid only in the fight
with the Wyrm, make nothing whole?
Unicorn told us to show
we did well our reasons know.

Healing and compassion stand
in Her shade, She does not fight
just to harm, but gain a friend
heal another of their plight.
Unicorn wants that even death
should be by compassion led.

So She neighed, and challenged us
if we would harm with care, and heal,
and we swore our fealty thus
we did bow our head and kneel
Unicorn's test brings chance anew
and we will struggle to be true.


From the Shadows

I am once more  alone again
just like before        all years before
my actions tore away each friend
I locked the door       of that I"m sure.
But I can't blame the others now.
I feel it's all my fault somehow.

I tried to do   what I thought right
with courage true       stand up to you
Somehow I knew  despite sharp sight
You'd not see true      and kill anew.
That action was a foolish thing
for there was naught I could begin.

So I'm alone,   I ran away
secretly gone   heart hard as stone
A coward known, always afraid.
I can't atone,  for I alone
believe it was the thing to do.
I can't regret what I feel true.

How did I gain  this stupid curse
that brings such pain?  Would it be worse
to fight this bane      or run again?
I cannot see the right thing done
To fight or run, it's always wrong.

So my ideas     will never fit
and slurs and leers     set off my fears.
And no one hears        the truth of it.
It only steers  towards more tears.
I can't be true to what feels right
and not be a thorn within their side.

Mother, I pray, am I so wrong?
Show me the way,        make night to day.
For every day   I am as strong
as I can stay   to face the fray.
You know all of my heart and soul.
Please show the way to make me whole.




About Respect

I know I do not have too much   respect for who I am.
I cringe from every gentle touch, especially from men.
I fear and hate those on the top, of Elders I am scared
I do not know how this to stop, because of how I fared.

I know you tried to help me to   find this respect in me
to teach this as a lesson new, but I really do not see
how I can learn respect from you   by fighting you this way
and not just that, but losing too.   I learned just hate that day.

To hold me down, demand my throat, to 'judge' me is your right.
But did you take some heavy load   from me with that bad fight?
All metis once have to accept   surrender is the way.
In surviving they become adept, that's why I ran away.

There really is a rift in me   between the woman strong
and the small child that you did see, and I can't see why that's wrong.
It makes me weak and that might be   the greatest crime to you
but this vulnerability   brings understanding too.

Truth-Fang-Rhya, I humbly ask   please listen to my plea.
Please understand it's not your task   of my past to set me free.
It says not in the Litany   to have respect for self
such lessons are no help to me, no matter how deep I delve.

It is -my- task to set me free, I've worked hard all my life
but some things can't concluded be, no matter how I strive.
My answer in these words does lie. Please Rhya, let me be!
To save my hide I will not lie, and that's respect for me.



Fighting doubt

So I will tell you 'yes' today when I fear for the worst,
knowing your convictions and for 'rightness' your strong thirst.
You and me will disagree on every issue great,
so close you are to all the self-importance that I hate.
Why in hell then go with you and follow in your wake?
frustration will be all I'll know, how much of that to take?

Yes I will join your pack and I'm afraid of the result,
how much of my spirit and my thoughts will now be culled?
How far will you push me into old things that I knew,
and will I then be strong enough to stay to ideals true?
Why in hell then promise to work with you and obey
when I'm not sure how much I can still handle every day.

But yes, I have to try it, and to work with you I will,
for why else would you ask me when you know I don't keep still?
Why else would you ask me when I've told you all I've done?
Still, though I have decided, my strong doubts are still not gone.
Why in hell take such a chance, for I can't really see,
if good or bad, what is to come, what will the outcome be.


Ossian's Final Ballad

Silver glitters in the sun
Silver makes it's downward way,
Silver on it's cutting run,
in an arc, a downward sway.
Silver poised to end the life
of Bard Ossian in strife,
all his struggle will be rife.

Ossian stands all alone
stands to fight the vampires off
that have to the Caern now gone,
he's the last, it's not enough.
As in pain he grunts, and sways,
sees no other open ways
then to sing the Caern's own lays.

Ossian, bard, arches his head
opens up, lets out a howl,
as he's surrounded by his dead,
grieving for this end most foul.
Vampires are on every side,
though his howl sounds far and bright,
the end is nigh, despite his might.

Then a whisper can be heared,
Mother Earth awakens sound,
grass and leave around are stirred,
as a blessing is then found.
Mother Earth awakens swift,
gives Bard Ossian her gift,
for the Vampire's curse to lift.

Rage takes hold of Ossian's soul,
And he rises, slashes 'round,
Cuts through enemies in whole,
dying they sink to the ground.
Left and right the vampires fall,
and he fights them, kills them all,
as he rages, fierce and tall.

Then the raging's done and through,
the Caern is safe, Ossian lives,
tasting blood of those he slew,
Fae cast the curse which that blood gives.
He gave his all to fight this bane,
but now he knows of blood the stain,
kills for that blood, and just knows pain.

Centuries he lives his life,
killing for the blood he needs,
then he finds an evil wife,
one directing all his deeds.
She controls his every thought,
carefully his prison's wrought,
in wyrm's web he's strongly caught.

Then Jenica, Renard and Tex
find the cure that Kade provides,
hopes he can his will then flex,
and this time choose proper sides,
They offer him the option true,
rejoin the Mother now anew,
and Her peace will come to you.

Ossian accepts the signs,
drinks the cure down in one go,
Then his wife Bianca sees
what she now does clearly know,
as the end of power strong.
Ossian chooses right from wrong,
won't be hers for very long.

Bianca of the Spiral screams,
throws herself to kill Renard,
Ossian himself redeems,
moving between him and her.
Deathly wounds are cast and thrown,
as her claws wound to the bone,
Ossian peace has never known.

But he fires pistol true,
silver bullets flie so fast,
hit Bianca as they flew,
makes her life now of the past.
Then he dies, his spirit flies,
joining our Mother in the skies,
reborn he may one day arise.


Love can overcome each fate

Carthage going up in flames
burning coals and dancing glow
people's deathcries heared within.
Victims of the Roman's games
as the fires lick and grow
Iago tries to save his kin.

After days the flames die down,
Carthage earth is plowed with salt
Iago grieves for all his dead,
sees each injustice with a frown
tries to bring it to a halt,
vengeance now his drink and bread.

Warrior roams through the years
fighting those that harmed his kin
anywhere injustice grows,
where there's fear and bitter tears,
brings the hope and rightness in,
throws injustice heavy blows.

Love casts eyes from far away,
Nefertite sees him fight,
for the justice that he seeks,
grieves Iago's violent way,
hopes he'll see compassion's light,
never of her love she speaks.

Iago catches deep dark eyes,
Nefertite's lovely form
and her gentleness so kind
brings him dreams of paradise
love and grief a wild, wild storm,
peace he'll never reach to find.

Fighting pain, and grief, and hate
Iago kills his enemies,
feels a wish for peace now stir.
Sure the darkness is his fate,
only sadness he forsees,
never can he be like her.

One last enemy remains,
one last man who cast the fire,
blood and dark on Chartage stone.
Iago goes through great dark pains,
fighting will for peace and ire,
fighting what he's always known.

This last enemy holds thrall
of all spirits that he fought,
captured in his mind they weep.
Iago whispers to them all,
giving them the freedom sought,
Valerius knows their anger deep.

Iago does not need to kill,
only needed was the key
to the prison of the freed.
Now they use their angered will,
vengeful force is now set free,
Iago did not do the deed.

The last enemy lies dead,
Nefertite looks at him,
turns towards Iago's form,
as he turns to her his head,
and he feels his vision swim,
love confessions are a storm.

Both now know the love they held
for so long but could not share,
kept apart by fear and hate.
Deep and fully love is felt,
strong is love and gentle care,
it can overcome each fate.'


So tired

I am so tired of being told
that if I'd only try,
only let go of what I hold
if I could only fly
it would be right and fair to all
and I would never need to fall.

I am so tired of the thought
that it is all my fault,
that I all to myself this brought,
so much I have been told,
it is my doing, all my will
and I my promise don't fulfill.

Where there are problems, there are two
to bring the friction on,
and if I only really knew
how I can here belong,
then would it all be really well?
Would everything be great and swell?

I should find trust, when all my life
I've seen such hurt and pain,
I've seen such nasty power strife,
repeat time and agian.
It is not only about me,
I want all people to be free.

I do my best, but I can't fly,
I don't have wings to use,
It matters not how hard I try,
it ends with one more bruise.
And if faith is the only cost
then both the faith and wings are lost.

It's not just me, I do protect
or give my best to those in need,
But I don't know how to connect,
to those in whom I see dark seed.
I do my best, please do not try
to push me in the faith to fly.

I'm at the end of patience now,
but I don't want to walk away,
there -has- to be a way somehow,
that's all the faith for me to stay.
Please Mother, let that be enough,
it's all I have, my hope and love.


Maira's Vision at the Well

I was sitting at the well when a squirrel caught my attention. It told me to follow, and I did, to a meadow with a brook, where I met a doe. SHe asked me what was troubling me. And I told her I wasn't feeling like a very good garou. A brown stag joined, and asked me why. I told about compassion, and the mistrust and defensiveness.. BOth the doe and the brown stag said there was nothing wrong with compassion, and then they asked about tolerance.. I told them I didn't feel that my people had much of it.. that every group has people who are not tolerant at all, who will press you untill they find fault and then slam you down..the Brown Stag said that was how things were, that what you needed to deal with that is to show them you have worth, a purpose and a voice that cannot be ignored' she closes here eyes a moment, breathing deep to will calm into her "I answer that the purpose and the voice were there.. but that I found it hard to show my worth. I said "every time I crawl up a little bit, an inch, or two, there is another to test me, find me lacking and slam me down again." and I felt the rage and the despair battle in my mind, trapping me in the middle. At that moment a Black Stag appeared, with red eyes burning with rage, mirror image of the Brown one, but completely different and it said "yeeeees, that is the anger we like to see.. you could always kill them all, kill those who hurt you, hurt them back" but my mind knew neither was the answer. if I would hate them that much and -act- on it, I would be no better hten them and possibly worse.." her voice soft. "After I realised that, even though I didn't say it, the Black Stag faded slowly, and Doe adn the Brown STag told me I was right.. there were much better ways." she smiles, clearly not all done yet.

Maira hmms a bit "after the Black Stag disappeared a white one appeared. it was even greater in stature then the Brown Stag, and it said: "Child, I offer you this. Respect... goes both ways. The amount you give, will return unto you twofold.". I heared this and I wanted to believe it. I wanted to be sure it would be true.. but I knew it was not. I was crying by now, it was like giving up a dream of a fair world.. And it was really hard to tell the stag it's offer was not something I could believe, that I had seen it was not true.. and that I wanted to believe it but could not.. I was crying like crazy.. at that moment the black stag appeared again. Trying to claim me, but the white stag locked horns with him and sent him off, told him I was not for vengeance, not being an ahroun, that I would not be of the Black STag. The Brown Stag, the other son of the White Stag, who was father of both Brown and Black Stags, spoke up. He said that this was well, but that the rage would need to find a way out. That it should be song, since that was what I excel at" her voice soft, thoughtful "and at that moment a song started knocking on the door, letting me know it was there and needed to be written. The white and brown stag saw this and the white stag gave me the gaes to write this song, to pour my being into it, my rage and hate, my dreams, my ideals, my compassion and my pain.. he said it would gain me respect and have it offered in return" her voice soft "the doe told me that it would need patience after the song had been written, that the greatest works need time to be understood and appreciated.. the Brown Stag told me to remember tolerance, me for my elders and they for me. It did not try to make it one way.." she bows her head "it said it would all make more sense once the song was written" she smiles at you "I was full of song by then, it was raging it's path inside me and forming, and then I felt the squirrel jump on my head and plop another acorn on me.. and I woke up, with an acorn right next to me, not even a squirrel nearby, and the song forming in my head. I crafted it's words, it's melody, as best as I could, and it became what you heared yesterday. that is the story of that song" wow that was quite a bit to tell.

This is a key song for Maira, the song that came from the vision. She considers it the best she ever wrote, and is waiting to be close enough to people to be able to sing it without people getting upset with the emotions in it. That's her goal where it concerns garou society now. To grow close enough to individual garou that they'll be able to handle the song. Until now she's only shared it with a very, very select few.


Through the Night into the Dawn.

I stand here and you stand there,
you seek to test me with disgust,
you poke and prod me so unfair,
your actions to me so unjust.
And every time I try to grow,
You find each weak spot that you know
kick me back down 'til tears do flow.

You've grown a thousand faces now,
you turn a hydra's thousand heads,
and once you snap, I see somehow,
through a dark haze of greys and reds,
each face that once looked down on me
to kick each weakness you can see,
'til rage or anguish win from me.

These open wounds here in my heart
were never given time to heal.
For as some healing small does start
you rip them wide with claws of steel,
and laughing you rub salt on me,
and when the blood once more runs free,
only by then you'll let me be.

The pain's so bad, it throbs in me,
and every day I curl up close,
can't face another day, you see
and wish to sleep, if time just froze,
but yet I drag myself along,
you call me weak, but that is strong,
to face each day, my whole life long.

I hate you with my being whole,
I hate you for the pain you bring,
I hate you deep within my soul,
I hate you every nasty sting,
I hate you for your cruel way
I hate you each and every day,
I hate you more then I can say.

It dances in my heart and soul,
It dances in my mind and will,
But then I feel my being whole
remember: hate does not fulfill
if you hate back, if vengeance strong,
would be your answer's only song,
then just like them you'd be all wrong.

And in that sleep, I realise,
I see behind the kicking mask,
What makes you cut me down to size?
Why think this is a proper task?
For some it's fear, or their own pain,
and some do think it will bring gain,
some just want proof of their own reign.

All through the night into the dawn
there's only one thing burning bright,
the answer to the hatred's song,
one thing brings to my dark soul light.
It whispers in my cringing mind:
care and compassion you should find,
in tolerance and being kind.

Share warmth and kindness where you can,
show that the hard way's not the best,
that sometimes claw does not match pen,
your patience's put to a hard test,
but maybe one day you can show,
that tolerance, compassion's glow,
was the best healing that you know.



Silver's Song

Come you all and gather 'round, listen to my song,
of a woman strong I found, whom I have done wrong.
As a cub by silence bound had no voice for long,
but her strength should all astound, let me sing her song.

Born without a voice so light, sept to her unkind,
yet she showed her strength and might, power of her mind,
gained the rank of Cliath in fight, dangers would her find,
as she fought a Child of Blight, sought her voice to bind.

Looking for Black Unicorn, through an Umbral tear,
misty worlds make her forlorn, Shards are drawing near
as the realm is tossed and torn, bringing pain and fear,
but in there her voice is born, ringing loud and clear.

Now to her fierce strength I bow, bending now my knee,
Anger in me tight did grow, I let it go free.
I should not have doubted so, that I now do see,
hence in the best way I know, my apology.