The Flower of Pain
Thus blooms the Flower of Pain, ruby red, wine red, blood red,
with a center of the most brilliant white.
Thus blooms the Flower of Pain, slowly unfolding, opening grace, curling
leaves,
none will ever forget her dark sight.
Refr: Blooming in body, in soul or in mind,
Blooming within for those who can see,
blooming because of the life that does bind
the pain so her beauty can bloom and be free..
Thus blooms the Flower of Pain, rustling leaves, sighing sound, soft moan,
with a scream hidden so deep inside.
Thus blooms the Flower of Pain, velvet enveloping, shy starting touch, red-growing
glow,
to a shattering sharpness from with you can't hide.
Thus blooms the Flower of Pain, salt of sweat, salt of blood, salt of tears,
in the middle intoxicating as lust,
thus blooms the Flower of Pain, whiff of sweetness, soothing smell, heady
and strong,
overwhelming even if there is no trust.
flower.mp3
Not bound and yet not really free?
Slave that strange and crazy word, keeps running through my head,
and sometimes makes me feel real hurt, and sometimes very wet.
But torn in two, is what I daily feel,
it's all so new, I drown in eyes of steel.
And yet my head won't let me go,
it wants me all my life to know,
that I will never stop to grow,
but I just want my joy to flow..
Submission gives, the meaning to my life,
I live to please, and bend 'neath every strife,
and now I finally can see
why critics mean such hurt to me,
why I just cannot stronger be,
for I am slave, I feel not free.
And yet my strength, shows also what I need,
and I know that, those signs are there to heed,
those signs are only there to show,
what I need in my life to grow.
And I fear being slave will slow
the paths I'm walking on to grow..
So I feel lost, between the choices there
for slavery, and freedom do I care,
and both sides are too much for me,
I can only a mixture see,
not bound and yet not really free?
How very strange that life will be..
My balance lost, my goal in life is gone
I feel so lost, so loved, and yet alone..
bound.mp3
Opened eyes
has this one really been so blind, so blind for all these years?
they seem so far away now, all the hurting and the tears..
the harshness of a master who cares only for himself
just vanished into melting snow, as she into it delved..
Now joy is found in giving over all that this one feels
for as she knows she is one whole as she there humbly kneels.
And nothing matters but the love and pleasure of the one
she's kneeling to as she feels how her soul becomes undone
then is again weaved tightly in a new and bright, strong view
kajira's way that is for this one, what she has to do..
opened.mp3
Advice
the outside is not everything, for grace is in the mind,
even if not everyone will know just how to find
the soul of someone in their eyes, instead of in their clothes,
or in their bodies or their face or how their hair now grows.
A soul is seen in people's deeds, what they to others give,
in how they care for others who also in this world live.
And who am I to tell you this, me who also knows
that people only judge by that what just the outside shows?
I fear I have exactly the same problems as you do,
something that both you and I will every time turn to..
How usefull is advice from one who can't solve this as well?
And yet, I wish you'll find some hope in what I have to tell.
I know if I don't love myself, I shine out all that hate,
and people see that shining out, and recognise the state.
And so they yell 'How ugly..' and they think they judged me well,
but it's my inside, not my outside that made them react so fell.
For if I walk the same street with those people on a day
that I feel good and strong then they have nothing left to say.
And who am I to comfort you, so many miles away?
I cannot even hold you tight, despite all that I say.
All I can do is play with words, and then send them to you,
and hope that is enough, for I know nothing else to do.
And yet, I do feel close to you, if not then in the flesh,
well, then it's surely in the mind, and there we both are fresh.
I know loving yourself is hard, I'm still not good at it.
Remember then to love yourself as once your lover did.
Don't force yourself too fast to try to do too much too hard,
but don't give up on yourself either, and make a new start.
And if you want to talk I'll try to be right there for you,
but to be good at that I'll have to take care of me too.
And who am I to tell you this, because I make it sound
like it is very simple, like you never have been bound,
by other's needs or by the past, or weakness of your will?
Well, I am one who knows this and who's fighting daily still.
You have a lot of work to do, but on my soul I bet
you'll get through this and make a change, and you'll be happy yet.
advice.mp3
Song to shanda
When I met her sitting there at the strand, rising sun the colour of flame,
my toes were curling in the warm sand, she told me shanda was her name.
I looked at her, and I smiled at her grace, kneeling formally to all there,
sweet soft and humble, yet strong was her face, she answered all with warmth
and with care.
Se told me she was a kajira of Gor, she told me all that I then knew not,
explained me her life, and all I asked for, patient with me who was doubtfull
a lot.
Her strength was so great, it shone like the sun, and yet she chose to surrender
it all,
to bow to her Master, Avvin is the One, she serves him well at his beck
and call.
I wondered then at how that could be, give up all I'd fought hard to gain,
to give up your will and yet still feel free, proud strong and humble, all
and the same.
She told me that loosing your will was not right, Masters look for sparkle
and strength,
she bended that will to a good Master's might, and shows respect to others
at length.
She told me to be a kajira is hard, only the strong can hope to succeed,
she told me her road, and where it did start, and of the bliss to
where it can lead.
Still I fear to follow her lead, for as I saw her I know that I still
have a long road to go and take heed, 'ere I'll be able to bend so my will.
She smiled at me, and gave me advice, said she tought that yet I could cope,
she opened her soul in that talk at sun's rise, and with that gave to this
fool new hope.
shanda.mp3
Gentle strength
Don't be surprised to find me here, this body and this mind,
even if it is so far from what you mostly find.
For I have many different contrasts hiding in my soul,
yet i'm content with what I am, I feel myself one whole.
So proud and yet so humble is no mixture strange to me,
this gentle strength and loving service makes me bound and free,
a study in strange contrasts and a song both low and high,
a dance both new and ages old, a scream and yet a sigh.
I laugh and cry at the same time, I bend and yet I break,
I'm shocked by all I dare to do, and yet laugh at the stakes.
I hold myself in high regard, yet know I am a toy,
I'm shy but also forward, both mischievious and coy.
I surely take care of myself, and know just what I want,
but I choose also to depend upon another's hand,
to punish and to love me, and I know that I know best,
for I will put all that I know in my way to the test.
strength.mp3
The Island of Shadows
Walking in the shadows, walking in the mists,
walking through soft swirling veils of longing and desire,
wander through your daydreams, swirling with sweet bliss,
find the fears, the hopes, the needs, the dreams and the dark fire.
What this isle will bring you, I cannot foretell,
it will give you but a mirror of what lies inside you.
Let yourself be taken, by its gentle spell,
find out what you really want, for then soon it will find you.
Share the things you find here, with the ones you meet,
those that walk along the same paths where you wander freely.
For the way they show you, follow you or lead,
gentle, strong, compassionate, tough, loving, wild or steely,
that and more to show you, and find their own way,
that is why they walk this path and you will give the same.
Respect them and their journey, open always stay,
and you will discover much and be glad that you came.
island.mp3
For Amberle
Sister, you were loved so dearly, by your master, loved by all of us,
and only now that you are gone so clearly, we notice now that we all miss
you thus.
Sister, this one hopes you will sleep this moment, as softly as you slept
in Master's arms,
she hopes you knew him with the glance that you sent, and recognised his
posture and his charms.
Sister, this one will never forget you, and knows somehow the grief will
yet abide.
But she will more you sorely, for this is true, our lives are hard without
you by our side..
amberle.mp3
Traitor
One mistress sides with kindness and with love, but she has dark spots in
her soul,
and Master feels it's never hard enough, and hears so loud the danger's
the call..
Both told their secrets to this one, both sides try hard to tear in two
the feelings that this one does have, each tell her something else to do.
Though both told her she should not trust their counterpart..
and with that made the life of this one hard.
Each wishes for his rival's death, the killing of the other side,
each worked on plans to make htis happen soon, and each a long, long time
did bide..
And this one cannot bear to see another hurt or maimed or killed,
to see the joy of life just trampled in the ground, the dance of being subtly
stilled.
And both told her they did not value other life,
and she saw death and darkness in their strife..
this one betrayed both Master's trust, and chose with that the side of life,
but all she is was called obedience, and now her soul is full of strife.
For nothing is now left of this obedience, and nothing is now left of gentle
love,
and darkness has descended on her, choking from above.
So this one found out she is nothing and she cannot be
the soft protector of each life that she so loves to see.
This one is traitor once and traitor twice, a traitor to each master she
has known..
but worse, this one is traitor thrice, could not keep true to all her dreams
have shown.
Without forgiveness silence is all left to her, laying awake for dark and
lonely nights,
and seeing all the things that went so wrong surround, and shiver at the
sights.
This one is losing all she is, all she could ever be,
and she feels blind without the hope that she could always see..
traitor.mp3
Wild Child
This one saw you in the tree, and suddenly saw you were free,
we are so different, she and you, and this one knows not what to do.
She thinks you are a nature child, and saw your spirit, free and wild.
Child of the wolf, a child of woods, and this one is just seen as goods..
But yet she sees a little shine, of what she wished that she could find,
in what you told her of your soul, and wishes she could be so whole.
She's tried to save some from the pain, not for money or for gain,
but since by the way that she behaves, it is herself she really saves.
You make your choices, nature child, and this one, be she soft and mild,
will help you and will find some strength, you on your chosen path will
send.
And if you choose to find your death, she'll know it's better for you yet..
wild.mp3
A woman's strength lies in her heart..
The power of men seems invincible, the right of the strongest is their own,
their force and strength can be terrible, as by height and muscle is shown.
Strong of body, and stronger then - a woman, that is of men a part.
This force is the inner strength of a man, but a woman's strength lies in
her heart.
War was thought out by men, we know, they often take death to be one of
their trades,
just so in women the lifebleedings flow, and without them there would be
no babes.
Life against death is a very strange fight, for every ending is also a start,
as men use the weapons of force against life, a woman's strength lies in
her heart.
For honor and pride are held in men's soul, which often only will lead to
death.
But women know that the world is one whole, holding life safely instead.
So which one is stronger, the swaggering boast, or the help of a guardian
to her ward,
and which of the two gives the world the most, a man's force or a woman's
heart?
heart.mp3
The Smith's Song
See how the fire sparks, see how it licks and glows,
see how it eats the wood, until it grows and grows,
see how the fire sings, see how the fire dances,
it sings: Shape me with your hands,
it sings: shape me with your will,
it sings: shape me with your mind,
and let me help you bring beauty in the world.
See how the air does swirl, see how it feeds the fire,
until it grows and grows, following his desire,
see how the air is dancing, see how the air does swirl.
it whispers: shape me with your breath
it whispers: shape me with your thoughts
it whispers: shape me with your dreams,
and let me help you bring beauty in the world.
See how the metal heats, glowing with a red light,
until it is so hot that it is glowing white.
See how the metal glows, see how the metal changes,
it clings: shape wme with your hands,
it clings: shape me with your hammer,
it clings: shape me with your dreams,
and let me help you bring beauty in the world.
Se how the water does extinguish metal's gleam
it moves and boils and sloshes and is changed to steam
see how the water moves, see how the water flows,
it hisses: shape me with your will,
it hisses: shape me with your metal,
it hisses: shape me with your thoughts,
and let me help you, bring beauty in the world.
See how the girl is moving within your embrace
see how she seeks and finds the passion in your face,
see how the girl does sing, see how the girl is dancing,
she sings: shape me with your lips,
she sings: shape me with your hands,
she sings: shape me with your love,
let me help you, bring beauty in the world.
smith.mp3